10 Ways to Manage Stress
It’s the most wonderful time of the year….and the most stressful. But who are we kidding, all of 2020 has been stressful. It has brought a lot of uncertainty, loss of the way life was, and maybe even loss of someone close to you by breakup, divorce or even death. Someone very close to me died in October and it’s hard. Sometimes stress and grief go hand-in-hand.
Losing the way life once was is hard. Being a small business has had it’s challenges this year. Working from home has had it’s challenges. Working at home with a partner or spouse has had it’s challenges. And it has been especially challenging, if you are working while also trying to homeschool your kids. Now let’s add navigating the holidays during a pandemic and add a whole new layer of stress.
So let’s talk about stress and tools to manage it. I’ve learned to manage stress as a small business owner, as a survivor of a near fatal car wreck and surviving a very toxic relationship.
10 Ways to Manage Stress Productively
First things first, your body always keeps the score. We can easily be triggered and most of the time unconsciously. Your mind, your emotions and your body hold onto trauma. We live in a feedback loop: Thoughts, Belief and Behavior. We are constantly cycling through those especially when triggered. Which brings me to the first way to manage stress:
The 9 C’s - When we are triggered by past trauma, when you find yourself in a state of stress or when you feel blocked, look for one of the 9 C’s within yourself:
Clairity, Connection, Courage, Confidence, Calm, Compassion, Creativity, Curiosity, and Comfort.
You may be thinking “I’m stressed out right now, how am I supposed to find Courage?!” You stop, take a breath, look up at your surroundings and then recall a time that you were calm or confident or courageous. Remember that feeling and moment and then call on it in that moment. The premise behind this is that your mind doesn’t know the difference between right now, the past or the future. So when you recall something, you bring in the strength of that story. Sometimes we just have to recall that time we had the courage to do “xyz” to remember that we are, in fact, courageous.
Physical Activity - exercising regularly is one way to calm your body and mind. Plus exercise improves your mood tremendously by releasing endorphins especially those heart pumping exercises but even a 30-60 minute walk will help you clear your head and release stuck energy. Even taking a 90 second walk down the hallway or around the corner outside can help reduce stress. And know that exercise is self care.
The 3 Second Rule. When something is going down that is stressing you out whether it be a fight with your spouse or significant other, a difficult conversation at work, an unexpected financial bill, etc. In the moment that it is happening, take 3 seconds to pause and breathe. It will slow your response down long enough to respond more calmly and less reactive. When our cups are full, it is very easy to lose our cool and I’ve found this method works well while in the moment. The key is to be self-aware enough to implement.
Meditation and Yoga. When you’re stressed, your muscles get tense. You can help loosen them up on your own and refresh your body with stretching and deep breathing. Yoga is all about moving with the breath which forces you to be present. Yoga also shows us how much in alignment our minds and bodies are. We hold a lot of stress and emotional baggage in our shoulders, hips, and lower back. And likewise with meditation, a significant reason why meditation helps so much is that it forces the person to release negative thoughts, stay present in the moment and control his or her breathing. This lowers anxiety and stress, which makes people much happier. Meditation can also rewire your brain in a positive way and helps with better focus and memory.
Healthy Diet and Lifestyle. Nothing can tax a person’s system like eating food that doesn’t settle well in the belly or drains your energy. Eating a regular, well-balanced diet will help you feel better in general. It may also help control your moods. Also drink lots of water. One of the simplest and most effective ways to build a happier life is to drink plenty of water. People who drink lots of water (64 ounces a day) have been shown to have higher levels of energy and more positive emotions than people who don’t drink as much water. It also does great things for skin and helps with wrinkles and makes you glow. That’s pretty amazing! Drink up!
Unplug and Laugh. Go easy on yourself and eliminate triggers. Unplug from social media, the news and anything else that might trigger stress, comparison, or anger. It’s just not worth it. I check the news in the morning and social media maybe 1-2 times a day. I have to protect my sanity and the mental drain they can all bring. Plus, by the end of the day, I’ve had a lot of screen time and I really just want something uplifting and funny so I watch funny TV, play a game on my phone or read a book. I’ve had a lot of disturbing dreams during the past few months, so I had to adjust some things, and not watching the news before bed is a good thing. Lesson learned and happier I am! And there is no other medicine greater than a good belly laugh so be sure to keep it light.
Sleep. A good night’s sleep is key to happiness and good health which can help you manage stress. People who get at least 7 hours of sleep are happier people. There’s nothing that will drain a day and deliver a bad attitude like lack of sleep.
Set Boundaries and Time Management techniques. Modern life is so busy, and sometimes we need to set boundaries. Time is the most valuable resource we have and if we don’t protect it we run the risk of burnout, spreading ourselves too thin, and causing unnecessary stress. Women in particular are overgivers because we are natural nurturers and caregivers. We have to learn to protect our time, our space and our minds so that we can have a full life making time for ourselves, our family, friends and our jobs. I do this by scheduling my days around when I’m most productive and by prioritizing what is most important for any given day. Then I set boundaries in my life. And, you don’t have to say to someone that you have a boundary, you just set one and hold to it.
Practice Gratitude and Positivity. Find 1-3 daily things you are grateful for and this will change your life, your mind and what shows up for you in life. Flip the script from negative to positive and you will find peace and comfort in the things that you are grateful for, and automatically lift your mood. Some of the happiest, most successful people out there have a positive mindset and always find a way without a doubt in their mind that they will get there.
Talk to a Trusted Friend or Advisor. If things are bothering you, talking about them can help lower your stress. You can talk to family members, friends, or a trusted advisor. And you can also talk to yourself. It’s called self-talk and we all do it. But in order for self-talk to help reduce stress you need to make sure it’s positive and not negative.
So listen closely to what you’re thinking or saying when you’re stressed out. If you’re giving yourself a negative message, change it to a positive one. For example, don’t tell yourself “I can’t do this.” Tell yourself instead: “I’m doing the best I can.” or “I’m getting there.”
Please let us know if you are interested in learning more about my 10 things, and please do share if you have any special tips and tricks to help you manage stress.
With Love,
Judith